Pt. 2 – “THIS” TOY COLLECTING MOTHERFUCKER

Well, I certainly have waited long enough to dive back into this subject. Filled with the liveliest of flesh-coated, yet humanity-barren beings that await around every bend of the digital world and in every aisle filled with childhood characters ready for capitalist consumption. Toy collecting motherfuckers can shift from either side of the scale in a moment's short lifespan, and I'm certainly no exception. So let's break this down, and get to the most important motherfucker that matters in your collecting journey.

You, motherfucker!!

(Well, me too, while you're reading...Since I'm going to use a handful of my adventures as examples, or thoughts that have lounged in my head while observing the digital landscape.)

Don't interrupt

WTF AM I DOING #1 - I'm arguing about something inconsequential in a public setting. WHY THE FUCK AM I THIS WAY RIGHT NOW?!?! Maybe you missed out on a pre-order (MMC Kultur anyone?) or dropped that fragile "took me 3 years to find a deal on this shit" figure, or maybe you just made the mistake of hitting that reply button in a thread. It happens, all the time, to ALMOST every one of us. Personally, I normally have done a decent job of avoiding this, at least for a person riddled with my various mental insufficiencies. But when they happen, they fucking HAPPEN!! I still drop a snarky reply now and again, but avoiding getting balls-deep into a legit argument is a path that leads to only happiness - or the wonderful feeling of boredom, as opposed to "I will chew your flesh off" urges that seem to creep up in these spats.

You and your opinion are fucking dead to me

WTF AM I DOING #2 - I'm pointing out that a beloved member/seller/retailer gave me service that was nowhere near acceptable, or near the level of perfection others are gushing about. Yeah, don't do that. People will suck the dick right off a social media "retailer" who gives them a deal 10% lower than retail cost, and overlook any and all flaws in the process just to back them up and stay on their good side. You can provide visual proof, physical evidence, witnesses, it won't matter. NEVER go down this road if you aren't prepared for people acting like you killed that person's family and youtubed it live. While the other people who have been given, let's say, subpar service from said entity are staying quiet, you're going to become a giant target for people white-knighting a person only using them for money, and who they will also drop out of their lives as soon as a cheaper option comes along. It's a strange forest I don't recommend camping in.

Take that back!! Best seller EVARRRR!!
AHH!! A BUG!!!

WTF AM I DOING #3 - I'm dissecting aspects of a figure that I've never paid attention to before. Them shoulders don't have quadruple hinges? That helmet shouldn't REALLY have that one line like it would in "real" life, should it? Those dudes should be EXACTLY .027mm taller or shorter? FUCK!! This one is something I try to erase out of my brain every minute I am shopping. Very easy to get caught up in, especially with so many outstanding references for scale guides, measurements, comparisons, and so on. While it's commendable to be dedicated to the aesthetic of your choice, try not to forget that in the current galaxy that our robot shifters are in, there is always another option, but not always the PERFECT option. Settling for something is always a shitty feeling - but to counter, one of the most rewarding things is taking a chance and being entirely happy with what you get. I had no idea what in the fuckpie I would do with a Maketoys Rioter Despotron, but dammit Suzy, once I got him I MADE a spot for his beasty self. I know that's different than my original statement, but he really didn't make sense in terms of height, series placement, etc. So it actually DID make sense, brownie pants...

I'm all up in your shelfz fucking up your CHUGz
Unacceptable to not include the missing 3789326496 sponsor stickers. FML.

WTF AM I DOING #4 - I'm avoiding my toys. Maybe it's something else, or one of the mentioned happenings above. You're absolutely mindless, bored, annoyed to the point where you don't even bother going to your toy room, or taking pictures, whatever. FUCK. THAT. SHIT. Get your ass in there and pick something up you can't remember the last time you spent some carpet time with. Pick up your least favorite figure and remember how you got it, or why. SOMETHING!! This is one I went through last year, and my only remedy was to entirely rid my home of Transformers. ALL OF THEM. Into the storage unit they went, and they stayed there for months. I even reached out to people about selling the entire bundle, just to have it wiped out of existence in my consciousness. There were even maybe 2 or 3 days I actually forgot about toys, and was kept busy enough to not feel any which way about collecting. Know what happened? I realized how much it fucking sucks to not have this hobby and a collection with so many amazing figures that I either have, or are/will be available. Many people have offed collecting from their lives and been happy. But that's not me. Slowly creeping towards 20 years (not counting my kid time) of it and I honestly can say it will always be something I'm into, no matter how tiresome forums get, or if my camera breaks, or shit is just too expensive for whatever income level I may end up at. It's too deep into my brain to let go entirely, and it's just too much fun to even want it that way.

Meh. I hate toys and other joyful things.

So really, I guess it goes like this:

WTF AM I DOING??

HAVING

FUCKING

FUN!

 

THAT should be your answer!!

Discussion:

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